Up on the Biggest Pinkest Cloud yesterday, I am in a such grey way today!!!

I cannot stand it anymore...Yesterday DH sent out our 2nd dossier to be apostilled, our first one has been expiring piece by piece. So he called me up after it set sail and he said with his boyish chuckle "It won't be long now Honey!" :-)

We were both up on this pink cloud feeling no pain it was on it's way, feeling so fine appointments were being issued, and everyone would know by the end of August when they would be traveling.

The the very same day I read this on FRUA. That now no new appointments will be issued due to the American Families that have not filed Post Placement Reports (PPR).

Canada has full compliance with this! Thank You Canada!!!! All their reports are in! Shame on you USA! Where are your PPR's? Where is your obligation to the country that has relinquished their most precious commodity to you (their future, their children) Ukraine has entrusted them to you, and trusted you, that you would keep them up to date on what has happened to their children!!!

Not only are you keeping Ukraine in the dark about what is going on with their children...you are snuffing out the light of hope for those future parents of Ukrainian children. Do you want them to close adoptions? Or do you not care because you already have your children home with you with their full bellies and warm clothes??? Do something!!!!!

It is almost 2 years we have been on this journey and every last nerve is absolutely exposed!
Right now at this moment I almost feel I can't do this any more. My Strength to keep pushing on has been:

My belief that this is what God wants for us. He lead me to a path and when I showed J, he agreed we had no choice it was something we were driven to do. Something we were meant to do.

My Faith in J as a Life Partner, a Best Friend a Devoted Husband and Father, and the strength I find in him, when there is none to be found in me.

My belief in myself that I am stronger than I know.

My unconditional Love for my beautiful and bright special Little boy...who began to ask us for a brother 2 years ago (perfect timing).

My evergrowing Love for a child (not yet home) that I cannot contain. A Love so strong, for a little boy so needing love, attention, nurturing that I see it, I see myself loving this child giving him these things and yet there he stays in Ukraine, oblivious to the reality that someone already Loves him so! Oh Moy Mili Malchik! :-(

To walk away from this Ukrainian adoption? I would be walking away from a child, our child the child that is meant for us, since before he was born! I KNOW he is there for waiting for us (whether he knows it or not). I know this with every fabric of my being.

I would be turning my back on Ukraine Adoption when my heart is so enmeshed in this. My family, Ukrainians came to USA for Freedom, and because of this we have had more oppurtunity for a beter, safer AND healthier life. We wanted to offer that to a child, who came from similar circumstances. Yes Ukraine is FSU, but circumsatnces for orphans are still dire.

Their future looks even more grim than their childhood that was without a Mama and / or Papa. When they turn 16, they have to leave the orphanage. Already orphaned there is little money or oppurtunity, with few jobs for them in their the country. Post institiutionalized, their past is a detriment, they often turn to lives of crime drug use and prostitution.

I cannot walk away. But do we really know if this waiting will end. It feels there is no end in sight to this waiting for an appointment. Will Ukraine allow us to do this?

~ Urgent Prayer Request ~

Please Pray for Ukraine's SDA that things go smoothly. And they have a soft heart for the children who so desperately need families while they efficiently do their jobs!

Please Pray for Ukraine's beautiful children who deserve so much to be loved and nurtured, clothed and warm with medical attention.

Please Pray for the Waiting Parents all over the world, who are having so hard a time hanging on... yet they do NOT want to turn away. Pray there is an end to this (draining in every way) wait, and a light at the end of the tunnel. Their children home in their arms.

Please pray for Ukraine's Mothers who often cannot feed their children, and who are often forced to give them up to other Mother's whose arm's ache to hold them!

Thank you

All things through Him. Amen

@- - - - - - - - - >- - - - - - - - >- - - - - - - - - - - - - - >- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I absolutely LOVE Proverbs, there is an answer for everything! :-) Here is one:

“Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed. (Proverbs 16:3)”
Thanx for letting me vent! :-)

T & J