Моя мать ангела...С днем рождения мама!

My Dearest Mamachka...how precious you are to me...so sweet are your kisses, your face...your love! Happy Birthday my precious Matusia...My treasure!

I Love You Forever! ваша маленькая качка




ILY(A)

Happy Birthday to My brother and sil yes they have the same birthday!..




T & J

Thursday is still more hopeful then Friday, but once Friday has rolled around and no new news about the SDA I am feeling somewhat S. A. D. :-(!

We are still pretty wiped out and exhausted. Tuesday night DS said "Mama I have a belly ache" but he often says that when he is full. We try to teach NOT to eat till we feel this awful way. But he has a hard time to understand his feelings. I gave him some pepto, I have always thought this works like a charm!

So when it was time for bed, we enjoyed some books, and I was hanging out with him in our bed until he fell asleep and so did I nesting with my Little Lovey. Not really sure how long we slept DH was up working on computer. SUDDENLY I was awoken by him spewing vomit all over me, himself our bed ugh! I swear it must have been GALLONS and GALLONS! I have no idea where that volume of fluid came from! I was like a swimming pool broke!

And there I am screaming for J! We cleaned him off and put him in his bed...incredibly enough he went right back to sleep (Thank God!) like he dreamed it,,,leaving J & I to do the grueling work way into the wee hours!

We stripped off our bed, threw the sheets in the machine...there I am scrubbing our new (but of course) mattress with oxy-clean mixed into hot water (don't pass this product by folks) you cannot imagine how badly vomit dyed with pepto wants to stain your mattress.. this Oxy stuff got out every last drop! So our bed was soaking wet!

There I was scrubbing the mattress and all the while, all I could think of was how growing up I was the gaggy kid in school... when someone vomited... IF I saw it, heard it or smelled it, I vomited too! I had an AHA Moment! When did I become so strong? When did I get past my throwup phobia?

BUT...remember in my last post I said I am stronger than I know??? DS was a failure to thrive baby, oh he was sooo sick (he is my true miracle child! Thank you God!) he was allergic to everything- puked up every meal I gave him. Poor thing, as if that was not enough he also he had one of the worst cases of reflux his gastro in Nemours children's had ever seen! It lasted for YEARS!

It's funny what you never think you can endure... and then you find out you can ~smile~ I am guessing I CAN live through this horrific wait (2 years in October) if in the end I come home from Ukraine with my child! I just KNOW he is there!

J had to bring our quilt to work with him to do on his lunch hour, because it won't fit in our machine and I could not go there with DS! Off to work with no sleep with the quilt in the car.

DS up for the day with Mama very sleep deprived!

It seems these sleep deprived nights are more common than sleep these days. I wonder how many other adopting parents out there stay up all night just to greet the day, because they await news. I wonder how I will ever sleep in Ukraine, when it seems I have turned off that ability (not the need). I do not think I wiill sleep until I arrive home!

Yes yes I am not even there yet, let us take things one day at a time. J & I absolutely feel this weird time warp every day, like we are moving through our day, but our lives are on hold. It is just awful! I hope & pray it will end soon!

T & J

Up on the Biggest Pinkest Cloud yesterday, I am in a such grey way today!!!

I cannot stand it anymore...Yesterday DH sent out our 2nd dossier to be apostilled, our first one has been expiring piece by piece. So he called me up after it set sail and he said with his boyish chuckle "It won't be long now Honey!" :-)

We were both up on this pink cloud feeling no pain it was on it's way, feeling so fine appointments were being issued, and everyone would know by the end of August when they would be traveling.

The the very same day I read this on FRUA. That now no new appointments will be issued due to the American Families that have not filed Post Placement Reports (PPR).

Canada has full compliance with this! Thank You Canada!!!! All their reports are in! Shame on you USA! Where are your PPR's? Where is your obligation to the country that has relinquished their most precious commodity to you (their future, their children) Ukraine has entrusted them to you, and trusted you, that you would keep them up to date on what has happened to their children!!!

Not only are you keeping Ukraine in the dark about what is going on with their children...you are snuffing out the light of hope for those future parents of Ukrainian children. Do you want them to close adoptions? Or do you not care because you already have your children home with you with their full bellies and warm clothes??? Do something!!!!!

It is almost 2 years we have been on this journey and every last nerve is absolutely exposed!
Right now at this moment I almost feel I can't do this any more. My Strength to keep pushing on has been:

My belief that this is what God wants for us. He lead me to a path and when I showed J, he agreed we had no choice it was something we were driven to do. Something we were meant to do.

My Faith in J as a Life Partner, a Best Friend a Devoted Husband and Father, and the strength I find in him, when there is none to be found in me.

My belief in myself that I am stronger than I know.

My unconditional Love for my beautiful and bright special Little boy...who began to ask us for a brother 2 years ago (perfect timing).

My evergrowing Love for a child (not yet home) that I cannot contain. A Love so strong, for a little boy so needing love, attention, nurturing that I see it, I see myself loving this child giving him these things and yet there he stays in Ukraine, oblivious to the reality that someone already Loves him so! Oh Moy Mili Malchik! :-(

To walk away from this Ukrainian adoption? I would be walking away from a child, our child the child that is meant for us, since before he was born! I KNOW he is there for waiting for us (whether he knows it or not). I know this with every fabric of my being.

I would be turning my back on Ukraine Adoption when my heart is so enmeshed in this. My family, Ukrainians came to USA for Freedom, and because of this we have had more oppurtunity for a beter, safer AND healthier life. We wanted to offer that to a child, who came from similar circumstances. Yes Ukraine is FSU, but circumsatnces for orphans are still dire.

Their future looks even more grim than their childhood that was without a Mama and / or Papa. When they turn 16, they have to leave the orphanage. Already orphaned there is little money or oppurtunity, with few jobs for them in their the country. Post institiutionalized, their past is a detriment, they often turn to lives of crime drug use and prostitution.

I cannot walk away. But do we really know if this waiting will end. It feels there is no end in sight to this waiting for an appointment. Will Ukraine allow us to do this?

~ Urgent Prayer Request ~

Please Pray for Ukraine's SDA that things go smoothly. And they have a soft heart for the children who so desperately need families while they efficiently do their jobs!

Please Pray for Ukraine's beautiful children who deserve so much to be loved and nurtured, clothed and warm with medical attention.

Please Pray for the Waiting Parents all over the world, who are having so hard a time hanging on... yet they do NOT want to turn away. Pray there is an end to this (draining in every way) wait, and a light at the end of the tunnel. Their children home in their arms.

Please pray for Ukraine's Mothers who often cannot feed their children, and who are often forced to give them up to other Mother's whose arm's ache to hold them!

Thank you

All things through Him. Amen

@- - - - - - - - - >- - - - - - - - >- - - - - - - - - - - - - - >- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I absolutely LOVE Proverbs, there is an answer for everything! :-) Here is one:

“Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed. (Proverbs 16:3)”
Thanx for letting me vent! :-)

T & J

Oh I am Tickled Pink (no better color for a Pinkie person like me)!!! J is off on his luch hour to send our complete 2nd Dossier (Adoption Paperwork) to be apostilled! Godspeed J, with Angels hovering all around you! :-)!

Looking for the Big Brown Truck...seems to be the story of my life, ever since that first recent post on FRUA that alerted us (Adopting Parents) that this is the way LETTER OF INVITATION (LOI) will be arriving...C.O.D.!

Completely Overwhelming Development! :-)

So today being monday, starts the gut wrenching lookout all over again! My neighbor across the street receives UPS deliveries everday! I am not self destructive in anyway, but here I stand watching from my window (torturing myself) until the truck pulls away!

I cannot walk away, until the truck is gone...i cannot leave the house! Talk about being Homebound! I am not taking any chances that UPS driver will bring MY letter back to the facility. I want all the emotions I deserve and have earned as I stand here in my home and sign for the long awaited letter! :-)

I just do NOT know how I will keep it together and wait to open it till J gets home. But this is what I will do! Open it with him...just like results of a pregnancy test...I want to look at his face wide open with emotion, when we see our appointment date for our child!

T & J

OH I am so embarrassed at all my grammatical errors, I did not see a preview feature before. So I hope anyone who may have read this (before I fixed it) may forgive my errors and just go by my content!

The SDA (The new Administration who will be handling adoptions) is moving...YAY (children will be coming home) ..there are several people that I know of getting their appointments (best wishes to you all!) It seems at this time they are working on children that are known (or identified) I hope they start working on appointments for those that are older and special needs soon! But all the Parents that I have "met" on FRUA and all the children they wait for will continue to be in my prayers! You all know who you are! ((((((((((BIGHUGS))))))))))

I pray for this child that we wait for. We are adopting a child that has medical needs. I pray that they are safe and not being bullied or worse, tortured. I pray that our appointment date comes soon. I pray that our journey is a memory that will last a lifetime, with not too many bumps in the road.

And I pray my "Angel" Grandpa Thomas from Kyiv has his hand not only on our child's head, but on ours along our Journey! Come on Grandpa, speed things up for us... bring us on "home" to Kyiv as fast as possible! Guide our way not only until this child is ours, but all the way, and bring us back on home to USA safely! Thank you! In God We Trust! :-)! Amen and Goodnight.
T & J.

Hi It is me just stepping into this blogging world. I journaled my whole life, but I do not understand all this text jargon.

I hope I am doing this right. This has been a tumultuous journey this Ukrainian Adoption Journey of ours. I should have been venting and documenting this arduous journey up until now (from way before through Orange Revolution) but...I was making other plans. Ahh but remember what John Lennon said?

"Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans."

OK here we go, our journey is 2 years long...but it is starting in blog right now! Keep us in your Prayers, Wish us Luck, Send us Positive Affirmations any and all are good :-)!

T & J